The beginning, a vulnerable place.

Before I start in on who I am and what this blog is about, I want you to first picture this scenario. (I’m sure you’ve all been in it.) You have a goal, a dream or a change you want to see in the world. No matter how big or small it’s kind of scary to do that new thing, to put yourself out there. 

Even as I begin to write this article I find ways to procrastinate, to put off the vulnerability of beginning again. To start something new is scary and I don’t want to mess it up. I feel guilty and insecure filling up so much space with my thoughts. (And what if you don’t like my thoughts?!?) Yet I have a goal, a dream and I want to see something different in the world. So I will not give in to that nagging self-doubt, this resistance. I push on anyway.

This is my story, the plot twist that brought me to photography. In 2019 I was laid off from my job as a designer/researcher in the San Francisco tech scene. At first, I cried a lot. Then I stopped for a few minutes to reflect on the time I spent there. That’s when I saw it. I saw myself struggling with this nagging feeling. My body and mind telling me in many different ways that tech wasn’t working for me anymore. Instead of continuing to cry, I leaned into the feeling. I followed it. 

It took me on many adventures and sparked my creativity. Ultimately what my feeling told me was to pick up my camera, to start capturing my life and to embrace the magic of the people in it. I have continued to let that feeling guide me for over a year now. This is how my photography business ultimately was born. 

So what is that dream, that goal, that change I want to see? I want to feel like my life belongs to me and I’m living it intentionally. Ooof, right? It seems so simple, but I know how hard it is to choose that every day. If I look at the number of times I feel self-doubt in a day or measure how often I speed through my to-do list to feel efficient, that’s when I remember it’s not easy at all.

Do you feel it too? Have you found yourself checking off tasks you feel no connection to? Are you doing things you think you should without much enthusiasm? Are you wondering when you can take a break already? From all the conversations with the women in my life, I have a sneaky suspicion I’m not alone here. While often I do feel alone in this, I’m aware that it’s highly unlikely. If this sounds like you, read on and let’s chat.

Welcome to my blog. You can expect to hear about my attempts to be intentional, to live my life with purpose. Don’t worry, I don’t take everything that seriously so there will be laughs along the way. I will do my best to be consistent and stay connected. But I’m human, so it’s not all going to fit together nicely. If you want to connect with me you can over Instagram, Facebook or email. I’d love to hear from you!

If you find yourself especially excited about what I’ve said and you want to start now, here is one thing you can do today. Take one thing off your to-do list. One thing. It’s sometimes just that simple to begin. I’m excited you are here!